Missing Buffy
by AngylGrrl
Summary: Willow writes a letter to Buffy after "The Gift" and tells her about her true feelings...please read and review


Dear Buffy,  
  
Hi, its Willow. I really miss you. I can't believe you sacrificed yourself for your sister. You were right about how tough it is to live in the world today, but Buffy, its even tougher without you. Tara is better, I saved her. But I couldn't save you. You were, no, you are my best friend, and you always were there for me. I just couldn't be there for you. I was too self involved with trying to save Tara, that I forgot all about my real duty, to help you.  
  
Buffy, I never told you this before, well I have, but not in the way it should mean. I love you Buffy, not just as a friend, but more. Yes, I love Tara, with all my heart, but I don't think I am in love with her. You were there for me from the start. When you were standing there, asking to be my friend, I knew that I was blessed. It was never the right time for us, Buffy. You had Angel, I was pining over Xander, and then was with Oz. Then after I was hospitalized, and you killed Angel, you ran away. That hurt me so much. I thought you didn't care.  
  
I was wrong. Because if you truly didn't care, you would have never come back. But you did. You came home to all of us. Sure, I was angry, at first, but I saw how hurt you were. I saw how badly you felt for Jenny's death, for me being in the hospital, and for Giles being kidnapped by Angelus. I saw how badly you blamed yourself for everything that happened to all of us.  
  
I remember how you died to stop the hellmouth from being opened. We saved you then, Buffy, but this time, we couldn't. Remember Faith and how I got trapped in the Mayor's office? You were willing to sacrifice everyone just to get me back. Buffy, no one has ever done something like that for me before. Not even Oz. Tara, well she really hasn't had the chance too. And after we had that fight and Glory did what she did, I realized I had to do what you did for me, Buffy, and that was save her.  
  
You are my hero Buffy. You have saved the world plenty of times, and you saved me as well. If we ever get you back, Buffy, I swear to you, that I will tell you how I feel. You are more than my best friend, more than just family to me, Buffy. When your mother died, we all grieved. Now, you're gone. Tara knows Buffy, how I feel. I will always love her.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, if we can find you, get you back, I will tell you how much you mean to me. You are not just the slayer, nor daughter, best friend, sister, confidant, student, or other labels that you have gotten, like class protector, Buffy. You are one of the greatest people I know. Spike has been taking care of Dawn, and by some quick hacking we have Tara related to Dawn and you, as a distant cousin. She stays with us, now.  
  
Spike left after the documents were forged. He kept her hidden till I had a chance, except for the funeral. Angel and Spike were having a brooding, "I love Buffy more" contest. Spike left to go with Angel. Spike is no longer that ass hole he once was, he actually proved his worth by trying to save Dawn. He was pretty beaten up. Anya got hurt too, but she is good. Xander and her are going to be getting married. They fit each other.  
  
Dawn goes to school, keeps up in her studies and is helping out around the Magic Box with Tara and myself. Tara is treating her like her own sister, I am too. Ben/Glory died. I don't know how. Probably some monster or something. Giles actually left as well. Tara and I now own the store till he returns. He left for England, he is going to be coming back soon. He needed to take care of some business with the council.   
  
You are going to laugh at this one, but Faith actually showed up at the funeral. She was with Angel, and was handcuffed. She cried for you Buffy, and put a red rose on your grave stone, and a white one with you in the coffin. White roses were always your favorite.  
  
I feel like I let you down Buffy. I feel like I failed you some how. I was supposed to protect you, help you, like you always do for us, and all I cared about was saving Tara. I do love her a lot, but I realized that night, seeing you laying there, I realized that I loved you the same way. That I always felt that way about you, but it never was the right time to let you know.  
  
I will always love you Buffy Anne Summers, no, Elizabeth 'Buffy' Anne Summers. You were my first true female friend, and you never EVER let me down. We'll take good care of your sister till you find someway of returning to us. I know you can't be dead. Death may be the gift of the slayer Buffy, but your gift is the gift of love. We all love you, we all care about you.  
  
I love you Buffy, never forget that  
  
Yours, by heart and by soul  
Willow  
=================================================================================  
Willow finished typing the letter and printed it out. Tara came up behind her and put a re-assuring hand on her shoulder. Willow turned her head and smiled at Tara.  
  
"No matter what happens, we'll always have each other," Tara said.  
"That's all I need to know."  
  
Willow stood up and hugged Tara tightly. Tears flowed freely from Willow's eyes.  
  
"I really miss her."  
"I know, Willow, I know."  
  
Tara helped Willow over to their bed and laid her down. Then she went back over to the computer and read the letter. Every word that Willow had written was true, and Tara had known. But something else she knew is that this wouldn't destroy what they had, or still have. She knew that no matter what, Willow would always be apart of her life, one way or another. 


End file.
